This morning I sound like a 40 year old woman that has been smoking since she was 19.
The past 3 days have been filled with a lot of laughter, which was so needed.
I Still can't seem to get my mind off of you, as much as I really want you to not be there.
I feel like god punishes me with the drama I have to deal with, like I'm getting punished , so he Puts all the wrong people in my life.
I feel like it's because of my faults and wrong doings I'm forced to have to settle with what I have, instead of searching for something better?
At night when I lay in my bed and I know something isn't right, it's as if I'm drowning in my sorrows , all alone at times .
I can be in a room full of people and yet feel alone. Family & friends or not.

I feel like that's my punishment.

And all these thoughts are running thru my head on a sunny sunday morning
At the car wash waiting for my car to be done.
It's a state of mind I stay in constantly.
Always thinking of my faults, or imperfections

Although this is me, don't mistake it for an insecurity .