Smoke DZA feat Big K.R.I.T. & Curren$y - "Etc" (Prod. by Ski Beatz)

Why so long November ?

trying to think outside the box
but i can't think at all...
with words I'm lost..

there's been so much going on
i couldn't tell you why i haven't wrote
so saying "writers block" is a understatement.

I'm in com10 forcing myself to write...
it should never be like this.
once a simple pleasure, now a chore.

i couldn't tell you why this is how i feel
i just do, not able to express my feelings
how will i make it thru?

i rather suffer alone than call on a love one to hear me out.
i rather be alone than let anyone else have their say
or speak their opinions or give their help.
is it stubbornness or independence ?

i don't know whether to have
shame or pride for the way i have become.
because this is not me.. i miss the old me.

gd.

It's no fair, while I' m stuck in love, you have no cares. 

Waiting for you to feel the same way but those feelings just aren't there

You can't let go you claim, thats no good.. 

Your holding on to my heart is  that understood?

but you want nothing more than just a friendship, 

not fair on my end, we should just end this.

but guilty I feel when i say that, 

I should be down with you and whatever comes with that

but I can't do this, I'm in love and I feel foolish.

in any form it comes.

i can write to you and it can be convincing ,

but it doesnt matter if your not truly listening.

i need you to hear my voice in my writing

& understand my words of reasoning .

clearly words fall short before actions

but until you see me, realize my tactics...

when talking about my feelings it is true,

no reason to have said it if it was false.

but when I'm speaking to you

its a simple pleasure w. no cost.

understanding me is the key

so stop me and tell me if you are lost.

communication is heart beat

& w.out it there is no pulse.

these questions i have.

It's funny when i can't answer the question "are you happy" . i choke up, then explain im not.. not happy. picking at every little thing thats not right, now seeing your true colors as clear as daylight. is what i chased what i truly wanted, cause now i have it & i dont really want it... 

So who's fault is it when my hearts not in it? 

Who's job is it to keep the interest? 

Do i give my all into something not sure, do i take the risk cause that's what my heart adores? 

Is it me to blame when we fight? Does it turn u off that my bark is worse than my bite? 

Would you rather me be sweet than sour , calling to express my love every hour? 

Cause now i have you & the chase is over, so what games do i play now?

Balance between Now & the Past.

What to write I've been thinking, what to say I've been wondering.

sometimes I have no words to express my true feelings.

Cause it's happy to sad with no warning, Good to bad without saying anything.

I've been told life is ups & downs, smiles don't come without frowns..

but where does my balance belong?

Going back to correct all my wrongs, but with a new year all the past is gone?

In my reality I would wish to believe, that with a new date I could no longer receive 

the painful memories I wish no longer to conceive,

because during calm moments I always think back to once upon that time...

when my days would be filled with confusion no words as though I was a mime. 

Now as it's good, I'm searching for the bad...

Can't seem to stay content, always thinking back to what i had.

So where does my balance belong?

When am I going to be able to let go of my prolonged past that I keep holding on.