heaven can wait

Tell the angels no, I don't wanna leave my baby alone
I don't want nobody else to hold you
That's a chance Ill take
Baby Ill stay, heaven can wait
No, if the angels took me from this earth
I would tell them bring me back to him
Its a chance Ill take, maybe Ill stay
Heaven can wait


Each moment spent with you is simply wonderful
This love I have for you boy its incredible
And I don't know what Id do, if I cant be with you
The world could not go on so every night I pray
If the lord should come for me before I wake
I wouldn't wanna go if I cant see your face, cant hold you close what good
Would heaven be if the angels came for me Id tell them no

continued. . . . . .

my mind is heavy with thoughts.
mentally tiring is what it is.
this week has been filled with so muchh
and what im doing is venting.
i can't decide whether its worth it or not.
shot down constantly, i just wish i had one shot.

to truly prove what im about.
it just takes time, that no one wants to put out.
if you think truly, that's what life is.
just t i m e. just time is what it is.
i dont even know what the my next day is gonna bring,
i just need you to be there, without a worry or a thing.
but regardless of you, or a bitch ima make it,
screaming fuck the world, probably gonna get it tatted.

dumb mutha fucka stop thinking success is about having money
get an education, then worry about having the honeys
it's sad what people make life out to be, just wasting the time
w a s t e, -wasting time.
d a r e n wallace- a damn thug nasty

im talking about you.

it's crazy how all you have to say is three words.
i instantly start to drip, then the time slows
& all i hear is tick tick, the seconds become slow
as if it's taking you hours just to show, come here!
come here! put your hands there and your tongue any where.
i dont even have to tell you, this i know is true
im so caught up in the thought, u ask me a question
& im like wait what who? cause just the thought
keeps me sustained, you have me by the D alone
it's sad cause damn you have me so far gone.

but your the only person who doesnt see,
that im simply yours, yours only to be.
Daren tells me to have patience and stay down
but i truly have no patience's i cant even sit down.
you keep me anxious as fuck, & the only thing that calms me
is your fuck. my mind becomes perplex with all thoughts
then you nut, as i exhale and at a point of time were one.
and its at that time where loving you becomes fun .

then something always set me back, turned away from you
cause you prove everyday that all your about is you.
rolling with the punches, i hope my black & blue dont show
so i sit back and play the part for now, enjoying what your willing to give
waiting for the time when im done giving & without u im out to live.
cause i dont wana settle, just to numb the pain away
baby please dont make me turn away

cause. . .

i wish i could just walk away, without a word or nothing to say. but ill be the first to say sorry, and come back in a hurry. baby please help me and make this easy, cause if you want me come here its so easy. just call me baby & pull me close, don't let me go, don't believe me when i say im done.

just believe me when i say i need a man, & just be here in whatever way you can.
so baby now you know the deal, please don't front just tell me whats real?

ugh i dont even wana post this.

so it's been about a week sense i've truly blogged,
i've kinda had a crazy week and my thoughts have been
everywhere. i've been it the crappiest mood, thanks to
pdl jason blood. i swear to god man ima go nuts. like
no body understand this shit and how it truly affects
ugh... then its all this other shit on top of dealing with him
its like my summer is starting off super shitty ass of now.
i haven't had not one fucking decent night and it super sucks.
i need to get the fuck outta here, cause i can see myself probably
cutting or something to relieve the stress i'm under . i feel like
i'm a old ass woman, my back hurt and shit ugh its really like
FML right now. life shouldn't be this way for ANYBODY.

r.i.p michael jackson

man so sad, i was raised listening to this man .
no matter what happen he was number one of all time .

westtt u[p]

thoughts
scattered... splatt!
your in mind
wont you just disappear
please?
go now
& take ur memories with u
laughs, inside jokes, sex
nonexistence of u.
leave...

but wait
i take it back
come back
stayy..
make more
memories for me to hold
so when i feel
its done, its not.
brings me back
every time.

now tears
drop before i can even
process what happen,
was said
or done.
can this be?
this is l o v e
couldn't be!
tell me its not
sustained throughout .
fix it, change up.
never an option
righhh?

drake- come real.

Ive always wondered why you bothered putting make up on
you don't need it
Even tho I always tell you that your beautiful
I repeat cause I don't want no singer and I don’t want no model
I don't want no fashion designer or nothing
I just want your love
Telling you that's more than enough for me


All you gotta do is Come real
Shawty whats tha deal don't think just cause your simple that you lose your appeal
I wouldn’t have it any other way
To stay real
What you make me feel
Its true beauty is the ultimate appeal





i don't think he could have said it any better. <>

"people wear sheep clothing but are wolfs on the inside"

I felt compelled to write on this phenomenon that's going on in our world, & right in our very own city. Just taking the time to sit & think while I'm in court my damn self. All these people that I have either known or know or at least heard of are getting murdered or locked up. " it's gonna be a crazy ass summer " It really makes me think like what am I gonna do with myself to stay as far as possible from all this nonsense ? It's almost inevitable that everyone is going thru this epidemic called a recession and what's completely shocking and actually very quite shameful is that there were two families that donated 900,000 to support the Lakers parade while the state is shutting down schools & teachers & administrators are losing their jobs. I was thinking this thought the other day;

instead of donating to other countries which I'm sure do need more help then we, why not fix ourselves first? Oprah is steadily sending millions and millions of her own money to help starving children when all California needs is maybe 20% of those funds to help with the economic downfall.

I have seen it personally effect my very own family and all I can do is sit back and watch. Needless to say I feel very helpless and almost very selfish that I think of my own before I think of anyone else. Although this is okay in society if more people gave more than they took, it would impact the world tremendously. Just sitting back and enduring all this in my liddol brain it's my motivation alone. Amounting among other things of course , these problems alone bring the hustle out of me. It's my personal pursuit of happiness not only to better myself but to bring a few along with me , if I can't save them all I'm gonna damn sure die trying. So I have this motivation but in comes religion and the part it plays. I grew up with the teachings of everything is truly out of gods hands and right now it's Satan ruling the earth. This I believe because there's no way in hell god would be putting people through all this hardship. I need to find it in myself to want to give myself to god, but once again it's my selfish ways that hold me back. I just pray to stay focused on getting to where I need to be . Instead of praying for success.

Success comes from ones personal happiness. Money, cars and clothes do not make you a successful person . Our young generation tend to think that this is the case but are very naive. Being successful comes from being first wise. Having it in yourself to be dead broke but still having knowledge .

Right now I watch my dad just now realizing this and for this I am proud because at the young age he is enforcing it in me. I am very blessed to have him although I never show it. I'm very hypocritical writing this because all of what I'm against is what I am. That's why it's easy to write about because in a shell I am describing myself. And I can't vow or promise I'm gonna change, that type of commitment has to come naturally . Or having motivation as your drive to un-monotonize your life style. But to that I say good luck cause it's hard out here fo a pimp. L m a o , just on a serious note.

yaa

it's like damn can you get the point,

is it not obvious how I'm feeling?

maybe it's that i lead you on & that's not fair.

but shit life is un fair my nigga!

your so dehydrated that your almost embarrassing

i need to just be straight up with you so you can stop harassing me.

i mean just to be honest the attention at first was what i needed.

but then you just gave to much like begging and pleading.

its like you try way to hard to get me to like you

and your just not my type, so its truly not you.

the head was cool & the laughs were great

but now I'm super over it, its just not our fate .

so please don't take this too hard.. we can still be cool

the best of friends is what i can do

but anything more your gonna have too miss me.

an old away message

june 9. It hurts so bad but we know it's best. Damn I'm just wishin we could say fucc the rest. To me the easier thing to do would be saying let's just get thru this, but your outlook on it is we just gotta end this. & I respect it although it's tearin me to agree, your just aiming for this to end peacefully. So I'm gonna take what you told me to heart, and one day in the future we will join bac like we were never apart. I know it's going to b tuff, but I should have expected this when I said I liked it ruff. But it's just goodbye for now, not forever & I'm looking toward the day we can be together. Not on no relationship type shit, just me & you chillin n shit.

jonathan

It's actually kind of sad. This is a 6 y/o (?) & he even realizes how degrading that word is. It amazes me how strongly people feel about it tho. The "N" word being used by our own people, should be okay? But when it comes to other people who might not be of that race, it then becomes offensive? To be honest I'm not sure how i feel about this topic, it just amazed me how he spoke and how carried himself at such a young age. He made me want to go read a book, and boost my vocabulary.

i h8.

e v e r y b o d y . wants to be loved.
if you feel like, l o v e is not in you , or is impossible,
your not being true, to the world & yourself.
females try to portray themselves like men,
in saying... that they are incapable of loving or love.
1.bitch you don't have nuts.
2.you look stupid, "acting" hard.
3. you ain't tight !

it's hard to admit that the power of the D , is a weakness.
but you forget that you have the Capital P.

that runs all.
when you feel weak, because you can't seem to figure out why
your dude just can't act right, DROP HIS ASS & find another.

if you have, day in & day out proved yourself worthy of his everything

& he still don't treat you like he should, it's time to explore else where
if someone feels like they " got you " , you betta remind me that they don't
cause as soon as they sense your insecurities , they play on them.

and all this im saying, i would say truthfully i have no position.
cause i would be in this category , but im thankful to truly be learning.
and all this im enduring is making me stronger, so i find it a blessing.

so i thank you.