"people wear sheep clothing but are wolfs on the inside"

I felt compelled to write on this phenomenon that's going on in our world, & right in our very own city. Just taking the time to sit & think while I'm in court my damn self. All these people that I have either known or know or at least heard of are getting murdered or locked up. " it's gonna be a crazy ass summer " It really makes me think like what am I gonna do with myself to stay as far as possible from all this nonsense ? It's almost inevitable that everyone is going thru this epidemic called a recession and what's completely shocking and actually very quite shameful is that there were two families that donated 900,000 to support the Lakers parade while the state is shutting down schools & teachers & administrators are losing their jobs. I was thinking this thought the other day;

instead of donating to other countries which I'm sure do need more help then we, why not fix ourselves first? Oprah is steadily sending millions and millions of her own money to help starving children when all California needs is maybe 20% of those funds to help with the economic downfall.

I have seen it personally effect my very own family and all I can do is sit back and watch. Needless to say I feel very helpless and almost very selfish that I think of my own before I think of anyone else. Although this is okay in society if more people gave more than they took, it would impact the world tremendously. Just sitting back and enduring all this in my liddol brain it's my motivation alone. Amounting among other things of course , these problems alone bring the hustle out of me. It's my personal pursuit of happiness not only to better myself but to bring a few along with me , if I can't save them all I'm gonna damn sure die trying. So I have this motivation but in comes religion and the part it plays. I grew up with the teachings of everything is truly out of gods hands and right now it's Satan ruling the earth. This I believe because there's no way in hell god would be putting people through all this hardship. I need to find it in myself to want to give myself to god, but once again it's my selfish ways that hold me back. I just pray to stay focused on getting to where I need to be . Instead of praying for success.

Success comes from ones personal happiness. Money, cars and clothes do not make you a successful person . Our young generation tend to think that this is the case but are very naive. Being successful comes from being first wise. Having it in yourself to be dead broke but still having knowledge .

Right now I watch my dad just now realizing this and for this I am proud because at the young age he is enforcing it in me. I am very blessed to have him although I never show it. I'm very hypocritical writing this because all of what I'm against is what I am. That's why it's easy to write about because in a shell I am describing myself. And I can't vow or promise I'm gonna change, that type of commitment has to come naturally . Or having motivation as your drive to un-monotonize your life style. But to that I say good luck cause it's hard out here fo a pimp. L m a o , just on a serious note.